I Am 22, Going On 23 (Part 2 of 3)
Part 2
Another BIG question that I should anticipate in many a conversation nowadays is “ Do you have a boyfriend yet? When do you plan to get married?” Age is a matter of great importance to a girl when it comes to marriage, they say, especially in my community.
My response used to be, “I’m still young (I still feel I am). There’s no hurry. If and when the time is right, if it’s God’s will that I should marry, I will. ” But people don’t seem to accept the first half of my answer any more. “22 going on 23…you need to accept a guy, don’t be too picky or wait to long, get to know him for 2 or 3 years and get married by 26…that’s just nice” is what they say. Sounds very nice and ideal indeed, but life is not as simple as that, is it? Marriage is for life. One cannot be simply accepting just anyone because ‘age is catching up’.
Over the years, some of my friends have asked me time and again at different points of times regarding different people. “Why won’t you accept this guy? He seems nice and compatible with you.” But I had my own issues that they did not know about. I would not consider myself very choosy or think very highly of myself. I know of some people who have criteria for the ‘right guy’ that included the complexion, the kind of nose, specific material and financial possession and status. I am not like that at all. I just believe that if and when I meet the right guy, I would just know in my heart…
Recently, I’ve been getting several prank smses. One guy tried to impersonate another and make me believe that he was the other guy. ( I wonder what some people get doing things like this!) Earlier this year, the same guy was trying to take our friendship to a higher level, but even when I declined as nicely and politely as I possibly could, he began talking to me with hostility. “ Do you think you are a beauty queen or an actress that I should come after you? You reject me now. One day, you will come after me and at that time, I will reject you.” He told me this, after I explained my reasons and offered to pray that he finds the right person. My sister said I should be angry and tell him off, but I didn’t feel that way. In fact, I felt disappointed by his attitude… A few days back (after ages without communication) he asked me how I was, through sms. I replied that my life was ok; the same; good- and I asked him how he was doing. He replied, “OK, very OK, Without you.” By the way, he has a girlfriend now. Honestly, I felt very hurt by just that one line. It made me feel as if he believed I have always wished for his life to be ‘not OK’ since I did not accept him, while I have never failed to remember him in my prayers for his well being…To think that we were once pretty good friends! It’s sad…
I still have one unknown sms sender. At first, I suspected the previous impersonator, but later supposed it might be the impersonated one as well. Now, I am completely confused. Innitially, I felt a little frustrated about why some people just can’t seem to leave me alone, but come to think of it, it’s not that bad after all. They are not stalking me, and in a way, they add a little spice to my life. This ‘unknown friend’ who refuses to reveal his or her identity of mine forwards me some nice Christian smses occasionally.
Another BIG question that I should anticipate in many a conversation nowadays is “ Do you have a boyfriend yet? When do you plan to get married?” Age is a matter of great importance to a girl when it comes to marriage, they say, especially in my community.
My response used to be, “I’m still young (I still feel I am). There’s no hurry. If and when the time is right, if it’s God’s will that I should marry, I will. ” But people don’t seem to accept the first half of my answer any more. “22 going on 23…you need to accept a guy, don’t be too picky or wait to long, get to know him for 2 or 3 years and get married by 26…that’s just nice” is what they say. Sounds very nice and ideal indeed, but life is not as simple as that, is it? Marriage is for life. One cannot be simply accepting just anyone because ‘age is catching up’.
Over the years, some of my friends have asked me time and again at different points of times regarding different people. “Why won’t you accept this guy? He seems nice and compatible with you.” But I had my own issues that they did not know about. I would not consider myself very choosy or think very highly of myself. I know of some people who have criteria for the ‘right guy’ that included the complexion, the kind of nose, specific material and financial possession and status. I am not like that at all. I just believe that if and when I meet the right guy, I would just know in my heart…
Recently, I’ve been getting several prank smses. One guy tried to impersonate another and make me believe that he was the other guy. ( I wonder what some people get doing things like this!) Earlier this year, the same guy was trying to take our friendship to a higher level, but even when I declined as nicely and politely as I possibly could, he began talking to me with hostility. “ Do you think you are a beauty queen or an actress that I should come after you? You reject me now. One day, you will come after me and at that time, I will reject you.” He told me this, after I explained my reasons and offered to pray that he finds the right person. My sister said I should be angry and tell him off, but I didn’t feel that way. In fact, I felt disappointed by his attitude… A few days back (after ages without communication) he asked me how I was, through sms. I replied that my life was ok; the same; good- and I asked him how he was doing. He replied, “OK, very OK, Without you.” By the way, he has a girlfriend now. Honestly, I felt very hurt by just that one line. It made me feel as if he believed I have always wished for his life to be ‘not OK’ since I did not accept him, while I have never failed to remember him in my prayers for his well being…To think that we were once pretty good friends! It’s sad…
I still have one unknown sms sender. At first, I suspected the previous impersonator, but later supposed it might be the impersonated one as well. Now, I am completely confused. Innitially, I felt a little frustrated about why some people just can’t seem to leave me alone, but come to think of it, it’s not that bad after all. They are not stalking me, and in a way, they add a little spice to my life. This ‘unknown friend’ who refuses to reveal his or her identity of mine forwards me some nice Christian smses occasionally.
posted by JJ at 9:01 PM
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