Complicated heart – exams again……
Sometimes, I wonder, why are my feelings so complicated. Why do I think so much?...A rather old movie I watched sometime back illustrates my feelings pretty well.
I recall watching a rather old movie sometime back. In that movie, there was a great artist who painted an exquisite work of art and that masterpiece was to be presented before the queen of England, along with the works of many other famous artists all from all over the country. The queen would then pick out the best. The people around him were expecting him be feel elated at such an honour but he was rather melancholic.
He did feel honoured, but that was the best piece of art his hands had ever created. If the queen selects his artwork, it would be his best, going away. And he wondered if he would be able to create such a masterpiece again. And if it wasn’t selected, he would feel that his art was not good enough to be picked by the queen. Either way, he could not avoid feeling sad. When I watched the movie, I wondered why people involved in the arts have such complicated thoughts and feelings…as it wasn’t the first time I came across such scenarios.
Lately, when I got called to sit for a government examination, I my found myself in a similar predicament. In the first place, I wasn’t sure if I wanted the job if indeed I got through. After some time of uncertainty, I had actually kind of made some plans for my future and getting the job would change my entire course. And if I didn’t get through, I would feel inadequate for failing the exam. Furthermore, the examination was held out-station, for 2 days, I had to take off from work and also study for such a broad range of questions in such limited time. Thus, initially, I did not want to sit for the examination at all, but my parents managed persuaded me to. So, I went for the examination.
It was a pretty tough examination, but I realized that it was a good experience. Just taking the exam for the sake of taking it wasn’t bad at all…and some sections of the exam were quite fun to do….like the personality and essay sections (since I like doing personality tests, and writing)..And it was nice going to JB… it has been a while since I last went outstation. It also made me remember parts of me that I had forgotten existed. And the funny thing is, the job I applied for was actually my ambition during secondary school. I only remembered that on my way home after the final paper.
I actually wondered why I had to think and feel in such a complicated manner initially…why couldn’t I just say, “I’ll just give it a shot, since the chance came my way, and leave the rest to God” right from the start. Human nature, I presumed.
And recently, I did a temperaments test online. Actually I did it a few years ago manually ( and I forgot my actual blend of temperament), but just wanted to have the latest results. Anyway, the results revealed to me that I thought that way because it is my nature to think that way. I was born with it. Anyway, the test described me accurately and made me more aware of things that I should take note of in my life.
You can try the free test at :
http://www.catholicmatch.com/pl/pages/temperaments.html?ra=1
Have a nice day!
I recall watching a rather old movie sometime back. In that movie, there was a great artist who painted an exquisite work of art and that masterpiece was to be presented before the queen of England, along with the works of many other famous artists all from all over the country. The queen would then pick out the best. The people around him were expecting him be feel elated at such an honour but he was rather melancholic.
He did feel honoured, but that was the best piece of art his hands had ever created. If the queen selects his artwork, it would be his best, going away. And he wondered if he would be able to create such a masterpiece again. And if it wasn’t selected, he would feel that his art was not good enough to be picked by the queen. Either way, he could not avoid feeling sad. When I watched the movie, I wondered why people involved in the arts have such complicated thoughts and feelings…as it wasn’t the first time I came across such scenarios.
Lately, when I got called to sit for a government examination, I my found myself in a similar predicament. In the first place, I wasn’t sure if I wanted the job if indeed I got through. After some time of uncertainty, I had actually kind of made some plans for my future and getting the job would change my entire course. And if I didn’t get through, I would feel inadequate for failing the exam. Furthermore, the examination was held out-station, for 2 days, I had to take off from work and also study for such a broad range of questions in such limited time. Thus, initially, I did not want to sit for the examination at all, but my parents managed persuaded me to. So, I went for the examination.
It was a pretty tough examination, but I realized that it was a good experience. Just taking the exam for the sake of taking it wasn’t bad at all…and some sections of the exam were quite fun to do….like the personality and essay sections (since I like doing personality tests, and writing)..And it was nice going to JB… it has been a while since I last went outstation. It also made me remember parts of me that I had forgotten existed. And the funny thing is, the job I applied for was actually my ambition during secondary school. I only remembered that on my way home after the final paper.
I actually wondered why I had to think and feel in such a complicated manner initially…why couldn’t I just say, “I’ll just give it a shot, since the chance came my way, and leave the rest to God” right from the start. Human nature, I presumed.
And recently, I did a temperaments test online. Actually I did it a few years ago manually ( and I forgot my actual blend of temperament), but just wanted to have the latest results. Anyway, the results revealed to me that I thought that way because it is my nature to think that way. I was born with it. Anyway, the test described me accurately and made me more aware of things that I should take note of in my life.
You can try the free test at :
http://www.catholicmatch.com/pl/pages/temperaments.html?ra=1
Have a nice day!
posted by JJ at 1:25 AM
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